Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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