I think scott just propositioned me for sex
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
