You're my little dorito
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
