Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
