another moral hangover. fuck.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
