The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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