wanna go halves on a baby?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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