Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
