Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have post one night stand depression
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