nut hugger
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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