Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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