If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
