If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
