so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
