Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I met the friendliest cop last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
