When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
