Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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