One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
