i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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