I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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