no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
