well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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