A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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