but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Found the puke drawer
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
