She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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