i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
