last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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