just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
