I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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