me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
