If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
