My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
