im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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