I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
