Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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