i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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