Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
