I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
