Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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