i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
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This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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