what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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