Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives