i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dating After Heartbreak
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.