There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one