office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.