Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.

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(804): View more from Virginia

The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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(626): View more from California

I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

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(732): View more from New Jersey

She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.

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(586): View more from Michigan

She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga

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