i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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