I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I forget how to act sober
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
