yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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