Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
