He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
