Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
