its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
