shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
