peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Mom said you looked used
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
