Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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