I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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