I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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