Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
