Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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