We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
