glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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