No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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