we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
