You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont even know how to be here
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
