it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
