It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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